BC – BS. Twenty years have been easy. When I say easy, I don’t mean that we have never argued, that feelings have never been hurt, or that I have never let him down and he never me. I mean, there is peace and purpose in our union – There is love.
You & Me Against the World
Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer…
I will preface this part by saying that when Scott converses with someone, he references his “past life” when discussing something before we met.
On one such occasion, I chimed in and said, “Yeah, everything before me was BC”. (Before Carmen)
Scott followed up with, “And everything in Carmen’s life before me was BS”! (Before Scott) As you can imagine, we all had a big laugh about that!
The truth of the matter is that Scott and I both had a lot of BC and BS before AND after we met.
Because that is life. Life doesn’t stop because you find God. Life keeps on coming and going, ebbing and flowing. A person can get pushed and pulled in so many directions when there isn’t a solid anchor.
JADED – LIVING FOR, FROM, ABOVE OR UNDER CHRIST
Scott was saved at the age of 18. I accepted Jesus in my life in January of 2017 (45). We met through an online dating site when he was 41 and I was 32. If you do the math, Scott and I were together thirteen years before I was saved. We were both jaded in our walk with God for our own reasons.
Me: I didn’t grow up in church and from what I could tell I could be “good enough” to get in God’s good graces, and therefore, into heaven. The problem was I could never be good enough to earn the love of my earthly father; how would I ever be good enough for God to love me?
Scott: He was saved at the age of 18 and embraced his salvation fully, eventually becoming ordained at the age of 28, and pastored a small church. But humans will judge others harshly, especially those in leadership, for being human; so he walked away.
Each, in our own way, turned from (or in my case never even entertained the idea of) God because of people. That’s what we told ourselves.
CHANGED – WITH GOD
So we lived our life, the two of us. We tested our marriage and each other. It is true what they say about second marriages being harder. Parenting in this arena is next level. We had more good times than bad, and there was never a question of our love for each other.
Scott’s friends became my friends. Unbeknownst to me, one of our friends, Eleanor, and her family, had been praying for my salvation.
Short story, I accepted Christ sitting across from Eleanor at a brew pub in Terre Haute over an appetizer and a cocktail on January 28, 2017. I literally felt an all-consuming weight lifted – the constant striving to be good enough to be loved. At that moment I knew I was changed, everything had changed.
THERE WAS JESUS
I went to Nicaragua with Eleanor in February of 2017. When I came home my heart was raw. I was wrecked. One evening while sitting on the couch, feeling overwhelmed, I laid my head down in Scott’s lap and just felt – felt everything. He stroked my hair as I sobbed. I would find out later that this was the moment Scott came back to God.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
People put stipulations on love – God does not.
Carmen Ramsey
Our married life was changed from that point forward. We were changed. Our “us” had changed because now God was a part of “us”. Everyday life didn’t change, because as I mentioned above – well, it’s life. We changed how we functioned individually and as a couple. God became our anchor in the storms of life. He is the still small voice that speaks through the spirit within us – HIS spirit. We are living life WITH God at the center of it all.
Before Christ (BC) there was only our love. The kind of love that comes with strings…human ideals and expectations – a love that makes it all about me. Yes, a real love, but frail and oh-so-fragile. Then there was Jesus’ LOVE. A LOVE where you see others as Jesus sees them.
1 Corinthians 13:1
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
CHALLENGE of the Week
Whose love reigns? Maybe ask yourself what you hold onto in the storms of your marriage or any relationship for that matter. Is your anchor pulling you deeper and deeper into despair or is it a steadfast truth that keeps you safe when life seems anything but? Maybe stop and pray, “God give me Your eyes so I can see my spouse, friend, child, or parent the way You do”. So be it!
What a great testimony! Thanks for sharing!
Yes, it is quite the story. Thaks for the positive comment Nancy!
Thank you!