Not Good Enough

I find myself going back to my past and the mindset that I am not good enough. I’ve been programmed.  What was it that I was not good enough for?  It usually didn’t matter.  Whatever it was, I was just not good enough.

After God’s Own Heart

I, deep down inside, want to dive in with God fully. I want to be that man after God’s own heart. But I don’t measure up. Oh my goodness, the list of shortcomings that comes to mind reminds me of how short I fall. I want to be like David. Samuel, the prophet, in speaking to Saul said,

1 Samuel 13:14a AMP

But now your kingdom shall not endure. The Lord has sought out for Himself a man (David) after His own heart, and the Lord has appointed him as leader and ruler over His people…

And the Lord spoke to Samuel, in eventually choosing David, and said,

I Samuel 16:7 AMP

“Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature (speaking of Eliab), because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

See Me God!

That’s how I want God to see me. I want Him to see my heart! In my mind, I dwell (or stay stuck) in my past. Whether it was yesterday or too many years ago to count. So I don’t believe He can see me, because I am not good enough.

So what about King David’s shortcomings? He was deemed as “A man after God’s own heart.” But He had Uriah murdered after he committed adultery with Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba, so he could marry her.

David, though driven by worldly desires and trying to hide his sin (sound familiar?), had a repentant heart. He desired to be right with God.

Psalm 51: 1-3, 10 NIV

¹ Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. ³ For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. ¹⁰Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

The Rest of the Story, Part 1

Know that God’s mercy and grace (His forgiveness) is unfathomable. When Jesus died, his broken body and shed blood were for us dispite our sin.

So when we acknowledge Jesus as our Savior and Lord, we become a new creature. The new has come, and the old has passed away. Our sins are cast as far as the east is from the west.

Our heavenly Father now sees us through the veil or blood of Jesus. When He looks at us through the blood of Jesus, He sees us as righteous (perfect). Jesus is the one who has placed us in ‘right standing’ with the Father.

Thank you, God, that you see my heart and not my shortcomings from sins of the past.

Who Is Good Enough?

We are forgiven when we miss it, and mess up. Sin does have consequences. Our sin not only hurts us, but usually hurts many others expecially those close to us. Thank God, with a repentant heart, He restores us, gives us a chance to learn. We get a fresh start, and still get to make a significant impact for His Kingdom.

So don’t be discouraged by not being good enough when you mess up. Take a look at these flawed people:

Moses: Led the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt. But, killed a man out of anger (Exodus 2:11-12) and was disobedient (Numbers 20:7-12).

Peter: One of Jesus’ closest disciples, leader in the early church, and instrumental in spreading the Gospel. But, denied Jesus three times out of fear (Luke 22:54-62). And he struggled with hypocrisy when he avoided eating with Gentiles to please Jewish believers (Galatians 2:11-14).

Paul (formerly Saul): Played a pivotal role in spreading Christianity to the Gentile world, authored much of the New Testament. But, he initially persecuted Christians zealously, even approving Stephen’s stoning (Acts 8:1). And he described himself as the “chief of sinners” due to his past (1 Timothy 1:15).

Jonah: Preached to Nineveh, leading to their repentance and avoiding God’s judgment. But, he ran away from God’s command to go to Nineveh (Jonah 1:1-3). And he harbored bitterness and anger toward God’s mercy on the Ninevites (Jonah 4:1-11).

And There Were Many Others

Samson: Judge of Israel who delivered the nation from Philistine oppression. But, he lacked self-discipline, pursuing relationships with Philistine women despite God’s warnings (Judges 14-16). And he revealed the secret of his strength to Delilah, leading to his capture and downfall (Judges 16:17-21).

Rahab: Hid Israelite spies in Jericho, enabling them to scout the land and fulfill God’s plan (Joshua 2). But, she was a prostitute before coming to faith in God. And, she lived in a morally corrupt society before turning to God.

Abraham: Father of the nation of Israel and a model of faith. But, he lied about his wife Sarah being his sister out of fear (Genesis 12:10-20; Genesis 20:1-18). And, he struggled with trusting God’s promise, leading to having a child with Hagar (Genesis 16).

Gideon: Delivered Israel from the oppression of the Midianites with only 300 men by trusting in God’s power (Judges 6–8). But, he lacked confidence and frequently doubted God’s promises, asking for multiple signs (Judges 6:36-40). And, he made an ephod (a priestly garment) that led Israel into idolatry (Judges 8:24-27).

And Even More

Aaron: Served as Israel’s first high priest and assisted Moses in leading the Israelites out of Egypt. But, he built the golden calf for the Israelites to worship, committing idolatry (Exodus 32). And, he and lacked the courage to stand against the people’s demands in Moses’ absence.

King Saul: Initially anointed as Israel’s first king and led them in early victories over their enemies (1 Samuel 9–11). But, he disobeyed God’s commands repeatedly, leading to the loss of his kingdom (1 Samuel 13, 15). And, he was jealous of David and sought to kill him out of insecurity (1 Samuel 18–24).

Mary Magdalene: Faithfully followed Jesus, was present at His crucifixion, and was the first to witness His resurrection (John 20:1-18). But, she was possessed by seven demons before being healed by Jesus (Luke 8:2).

Thomas: Faithfully followed Jesus and eventually spread the Gospel to India according to tradition. But, he doubted the resurrection until he saw and touched Jesus’ wounds (John 20:24-29).

Good Enough?

These examples show how God’s grace can work through deeply flawed individuals to achieve His purposes. Their stories remind us that perfection isn’t required to serve God, but faith, repentance, and reliance on Him are essential. So yes, the Bible is filled with other flawed individuals who were used by God for significant purposes.

So when we are spiraling about blowing it and not being good enough, we can acknowledge that we failed and how this underscore the importance of grace. Despite our imperfections God has great plans for us. He will turn Graves Into Gardens! There is nothing better…

Challenge of the Week

Align your heart with God’s. The Bible is filled with stories of people who were deeply flawed. But they were still used by God to accomplish great things. Take that one thing you are dwelling on. Don’t be stuck, but know God’s mercy and grace is more than sufficient. Now you are free to go and make a difference with Jesus at your side. So be it!

More related posts:

• I Deserve It
• Breaking The Chains
• The Past Has Passed