The little child that says, “Mommy, look at me?” And the heart of an adult amid another broken relationship, “Do you see me?” And all of those who feel alone and forgotten, “Does anyone see me?” I see you!
Unseen
Many people feel unseen in life. This is particularly evident in the marketplace, the place of work. But we also see it in relationships outside of work and even in the church. Oh, there is so much to learn here, but for now, let me point out a few things. “Leadership” is often glorified management. Wilder and Warner, in their book R.A.R.E Leadership, call this type of leadership, Sandbox Leadership. It is micro-management used to get people to produce an outcome. This is quite the opposite of Simon Sinek’s book, The Infinite Game.
So people are micro-managed with high accountability, creating a culture of fear of not being good enough and not producing. So warnings and write-ups abound to control and push people. This creates a culture of fear, and punishment. Some even wonder if they will have a job when they come to work the next morning.
Missing Out By Striving To Be Seen
People therefore do not feel valued or as though they have worth. Oftentimes, people in leadership positions in the marketplace strive so hard to feel seen, heard, and valued too. And then they don’t see the effect it has on those they work with.
Sandbox Leadership doesn’t mean a lack of competence and skills, but rather it speaks to people who don’t “play” well with others. They lack personal maturity. In their lack they strive, to the detriment of the team, to push their personal agendas and win personal arguments. They have a strong need to be right.
And this type of relational immaturity isn’t confined to the marketplace. Many suffer the same outside of the workplace as well.
People Want To Be Seen
God has built into us the need to be acknowledged, understood, valued, and most of all, connected to others. Essentially, it signifies that we matter and belong, which contributes to our sense of worth or value. This gives us an overall sense of well-being. The lack of it can lead to feelings of isolation and invisibility.
People Want To Feel Valued
Does it really hurt for someone to say to another, “You are valued?” It seems like it. I worked for a community college years ago, for 11 years, and not once did the department chair ever (and we should not use the words “ever” or “never”) tell me of the good job I was doing. But that person did call me out and write me up after I had worked there for ten years for failing to return a voicemail message.
Examples of this abound for both you and me. I’m sure many have similar stories.
People Stay For Less
Did you know that people will stay at a job, even for less money, when they feel valued (Harvard Business Review-Willing to Earn Less Money, Nov 2018)? Research indicates this with studies showing a strong correlation between feeling appreciated and a higher likelihood of remaining in a role, even when the salary may be lower than the market average (Gartner Research Team – March 2023).
High turnover rates and people leaving “for better jobs” are indicators that people are not being seen. For more on why the workplace is so key to who you are and your future, check out The Sacredness of Secular Work, by Jordan Raynor.
The Heart vs The Head (left brain vs right brain)
Carmen and I participate in a small group with our church. This past week we were taking turns sharing our stories. One gentleman shared how he had successfully led his church as a layman in the pastoral role for two years before the church finally decided to hire their next pastor. They wanted him to put his name in for the position. But told him due to his lack of education at a formal institute, that he didn’t qualify.
In the book The Other Half of the Church, the authors share the concern about how the church has become more focused on theology. Spirituality is determined more by what you know – that is left-brained. Instead, we are more connected with God through our right brain. One of the keys is facial recognition among other right-brain functions. It’s amazing how much the Bible says about the face of God. Just like connecting person to person (in person face-to-face), that connection with God (face-to-face) is major in that relational connection – God’s greatest desire.
Do Not Give Up On God Because of Others
Despite others, what they do or don’t do to you, what they say or don’t say to you…don’t give up on God. He sees you and wants to experience you face-to-face. He sees your heart. So don’t let others set your value or your worth. Regarding the workplace, God is preparing you for more (see the book reference above) than you know. And more than most employers could ever do for you, so be encouraged. Also check out the book by Clifton, It’s The Manager (why people stay at their job).
One More Thing, from God…
“Sometimes I know you wonder where I am and feel that at times I am far away. Many times in the past I saw you struggle with feeling valued and having worth, and you wondered if it was so, or would ever be. So today I want to remind you of how special you are to Me. I see you!”
God
Challenge of the Week
Know that God sees you and knows your heart. Your challenge this week is to find someone who has the heart of God. God has given that person His eyes to be able to see you, and others, the way He sees you. Or maybe, just maybe, that is you that God wants to connect with others who need to know they have value and/or worth, the way Jesus sees them. So be it!
Other Related Posts:
Leave a Reply