This is a follow-up to A Letter To My Kids that was posted back on February 17. Sometimes blessings come out of the blue. So here is my story about a letter from my kids.
This is a real story about love and forgiveness as a parent. I learned years ago that as parents, we can kick our kids out of the nest with extra luggage. What do I mean by that? We can potentially leave our kids with not-so-good memories when they leave home. They then walk into adulthood handicapped by things we did… or didn’t do. They drag that baggage with them through life!
Forgiveness
The letter I wrote to my kids was about sending them out into the world on the right foot. I wanted them to know that I knew I wasn’t perfect, that I knew I had blown it at various times with them. And that I needed their forgiveness and I wanted them to know how much they are loved. Here’s an excerpt from that post:
A letter to my kids…I wanted to let them know they were loved…no strings attached. I wanted them to know how awesome they are to me with their gifts and strengths that were unique to them. I wanted them to know I saw that in them. And most importantly, I wanted to ask for their forgiveness. I needed their forgiveness for all the times I missed it and fell short with them. I wanted them to know that I knew I had fallen short.
And continuing…
No excuses…In my letter I wanted them to know that I had NO EXCUSES – no, ifs, ands, or buts; no “I missed it because of this,” or that “you just don’t understand.” All of those excuses are strings-attached apologies – and the letters had no strings attached. The letter to each one of my kids was me owning how I had failed them.
A Letter From My Youngest – A Blessing Out of the Blue
Fast forward six years later. Each of my kids has mentioned how special that letter was to them. It warmed my heart like you can’t imagine. But one of my kids, our youngest, took it a step further. He sent me this email (the letter following) just the other day. Yes, six years later…
Hi Dad!
I wrote this letter many years ago after you wrote us love letters on Valentine’s Day. I printed it off and it actually floated around my car for like a year or so and then I’m not sure where it went exactly.
Sitting here at work I was cleaning out my Google drive so that I could use it for school and I found it!
There was no reason for not sending it to you or giving it to you other than I think I was nervous or scared to give it to you. I cherish that letter to this day and it sort of breaks my heart at the same time.
Love ya, Elias
Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone
The Letter from Elias (an excerpt from his letter)
Hey Dad, I read your letter. To start off, I love you so much Dad. I am so thankful for you.
I was going to send you a text to tell you I had read your letter but it felt like it would not get the message across properly. If I would have called you, it would not have come out correctly. So that is what this is for.
It was not easy to read your letter, and it is the most meaningful thing I have ever received. Reading it makes me think back to Grand-Dad’s funeral when you said none of the things in the past mattered anymore, and I realize that. I know there are many things we could have done for us to be closer or have spent more time together, but I have never been mad at you or held anything against you for any reason.
The time we get to spend together means the world to me. All of our time in the woods, waiting hours on end is time I will cherish. All of the time I spend on the soccer field with you there supporting me, yelling at the referee, and whistling in your classic three-beat whistle is time I will remember. Your nonstop corny “Dad jokes” and loving actions will always hold a special place in my heart.
You mean the world to me. I want you to know that our time means everything to me. That you are the best Dad I could wish for. Whenever I think of you I honestly always think of you as my amazing and loving Dad. That is my honest thought, every time I think of you.
For any and every reason in the book, you have my forgiveness. I am not sure that I needed to say that, but now you know. I have never held anything against you and I never will. You are an amazing man.
I love you Dad, Elias.
I Peter 4:8 amp
Above all, have fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins [it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others].
I Share All of That to Say…
Yes, I sat a cried like a baby as I read it. Here’s the message – be vulnerable. Everyone knows that no one person is perfect, save Jesus Himself. It’s like I say to business owners – no one expects you to be perfect. So when you do miss it, others (in business and personally) expect you to make it right. It is when you make it right that you really win others over, not your perfection.
It was very difficult for me to write those letters to my kids as odd as that may seem. I felt very vulnerable. And you saw what my son said in his email about being nervous and scared to share the letter he wrote to me.
The Path Seldom Traveled
That’s why love and forgiveness is the path seldom traveled. Very few go down that path. It’s why you feel all alone when you go the extra mile. Very few people go the extra mile.
I share this next song because of the message it sends. It’s one of those songs where we say, “Wow, that dad really blew it and God’s Law of Reciprocity, give and it shall be given, Karma, came back to him. But the actual message is – don’t make that mistake. And even more so, if you do then make it right.
Challenge of the Week
Give your kids and others in your life the best that you have. You will inevitably still fall short! But when you do, make it right. Practice love and forgiveness this week with your kids. Practice it with significant others in your life this week. And when it’s all said and done, and your kids are leaving home to go out on their own, don’t let them leave home without it (knowing love and forgiveness)! So be it.
Extra: At the time of this writing, our kids were 31, 29, 27, and 22 and are all great adult children. Elias is our youngest. He just finished his bachelor’s in Business and is now getting his MBA. He was the first recruit for his college’s new soccer team, was team captain all four years, and now while working on his master’s his coach has him coaching the school’s new JV soccer team. Thank you Elias for allowing me to share a portion of your letter.
Scott, I always enjoy your real world applicable stories. I’m confident that sharing your experiences and thoughts greatly help others…i know they have helped me to put things in greater perspective. Blessings to you and your family Brother.
Darel Longyear
Darel, how are you man! I appreciate your encouraging words. I often wonder how you are doing. When still in Terre Haute we got a glimpse or two of you in a message being preached by Scot. Feel free to share any open and honest feedback anytime. Be greatly blessed my friend, that God’s purpose would be greatly accomplished through you.
Scott
Great read!
Thanks Melissa. It was such a great blessing and heart-warming experience in receiving that email and letter from my son. And thanks for the inspiration that you and Lee are to me and many others!