A Letter to My Kids…We Are All God’s Children

Good morning!  Waking up to a new day. What a blessing!  And speaking of blessings, my kids!  Well, not so much kids anymore as they are adult children – 23, 28, 30 and 32.  Writing a letter to my kids.  😊  Let me share a word of encouragement concerning them.

I love to share about my children, so I don’t mind if I do for a moment.  Not about other people’s children, but mine.  And not necessarily just about my children, but about me regarding my children.

So I’ve always wanted to be a really good father to my children.  As a parent, I’ve had many regrets, made a lot of bad choices, and left my children feeling sad many times I am sure.

We live in a fallen world.  That makes you and me flawed.  This means we fall short…for me, in many ways and in more ways than I like to remember over all the years.

My mistress

One of my biggest regrets from the earliest days of fatherhood, I had a mistress.  This took a lot of my time to maintain so I missed out on a lot of things about my oldest (Michael) in the early years because of the time I spent with my mistress. 

I know, this is quite the confession to you and many others, but it’s true.  My mistress?  It was my ministry of all things.  Yes, my ministry was my mistress.  I was out to save the world (I was a missionary to lost teenagers), and all the while my only child at the time was left without me being around many times.

Enter my mentor, Keith.  Keith took me under his wings at that time and shocked me with the fact that I had a mistress – my work…and ministry to boot!  He began teaching me what it meant to be a father and a man of God.  I remember him telling me some men were big shots and really involved in the community, even getting many accolades and awards for it….all the while back home their families were falling apart.

Romans 8:16  ESV

The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.

Well, along the way I was blessed with my second child 9 years later, Elias (now 23).  As a parent, I learned many lessons from my first child, helping me to do a little better in some ways with my second.  I still struggled always being there, as I was working away at trying to be better off to leave my kids with something somewhere down the road.

Then came my third and fourth children, both at the same time (in 2004) with my new bride and amazing wife Carmen – Lexi (28) and Sebastian (30).  They were 9 and 11 when they came into my life, and have been such a blessing.  With the business that Carmen and I were in together, I again found my kids sacrificed to my drive to be successful and make my mark.

I continued to struggle with all that I was missing out on, missing so much with all four of my kids, not being there like I should have been.  Despite all my shortcomings, selfishness, and distractions, they have turned out to be pretty sharp young adults.  I won’t go on bragging beyond that as it would turn into hundreds of pages.  😊  I love them so much.  But let me challenge you here, whether as a parent, a child, or a best friend to someone…

A letter to my kids…

I had something in my heart for more than a year.  I knew I wanted to do it but ‘never found the time.’  Finally, I did it, and it was one of the best things I have ever done…a letter to my kids.  I finally took the time to write them each a love letter.  A page and a half to two pages was all it was.

A letter to my kids…No strings attached

In my letter, I wanted to let them know they were loved…no strings attached.  I want them to know how awesome they are to me with their gifts and strengths that were unique to them.  I want them to know I see that in them.  And most importantly, I wanted to ask for their forgiveness.  I needed their forgiveness for all the times I missed it and fell short with them.  I wanted them to know that I knew I had fallen short. 

A letter to my kids…No excuses…

In my letter I wanted them to know that I had NO EXCUSES – no ifs, and’s, or but’s. No “I missed it because of this” or “you don’t understand.” All of those are strings-attached apologies and the letters had no strings attached. The letter to each one was me owning how I had failed them.

I don’t know if they still have their letters.  I do (still have a copy).  But I do know that each of my kids, in all their different places in life, and with all their shortcomings and imperfections, are the most precious and perfect gifts to me.  I also know that each of our kids has my back, and Carmen’s back no matter what – that they would be there for us just as much as we are there for them.  For this, for them, I am thankful beyond words.

God has much to say about children as we see it all over in scripture.  They (we) are a true blessing to Him, and our children to us.

Psalm 127:3  ESV

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Challenge of the Day:  Write a love letter to your kids (parents or a close friend).  I bet you can’t do it without crying.  Tears of joy, tears of regrets, but most of all, tears of a deep love that God has given us for our kids.  So be it!