Ready to be encouraged? Speaking of being encouraged, let’s start with a list of times when you were offended (dad humor). I will start with one for me just yesterday. Carmen said I was holding a grudge. I was offended because of course, I wouldn’t do that. Lot’s more to the story of course. Let us make an attempt at demystifying Offended.
Reasons why people get offended:
- When you thought you did well to get somewhere in life and someone said it wasn’t good enough.
- Someone else got a compliment that you thought you should have received – it’s all about you or you made it about you when it wasn’t.
- You saw and stated the obvious (you are smart) and others didn’t get it (others are stupid).
- You were excluded only due to your looks (female, male, the way you dressed, your hair, your size, your ‘outward’ appearance/looks, skin color, ethnicity, etc.).
- Your skill level or lack of it.
- Being laughed at because you were in the dark (unaware) – others weren’t.
- You can also be offended for others (this is my favorite one to use). 😊
- Which is your favorite (add in the comments below)?
Offended:
Adjective – resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.
What does the Bible say?
Proverbs 19:11
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 12:16
Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.
Take-away On Being Offended
So my take-away, and something I pride myself on (didn’t say I was good at it) is that we are NOT to be offended. Why is this? Well, I could make this a really long read, but in short, we get offended most often due to these two reasons:
- We are insecure in who we are
- We feel we have taken a blow to our honor (we’ve been dishonored)
- Which actually relates to the first one, insecure.
We should not be offended because of someone else’s perception of us. This means if someone doesn’t know us at all, it should be easy to not be offended because they have no basis or foundation on which to offend us. It is much harder to NOT be offended by someone that knows us well because they have more of a foundation on which to judge or offend us.
The Truth Will Set You Free From Being Offended
Here’s the truth: It’s your choice as to whether you want to be offended or not (see scripture above). Others can give you reasons to be offended, but they don’t have the power to MAKE you feel that way – that’s your choice.
In the same way, remember this – more wisdom out of Ecclesiastes:
Ecclesiastes 7:21-22
Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you—
for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.
What (insert minion here from Despicable Me)?! I work hard at not being offended, why in the world would I offend others, right? It’s easier than you think.
- One, we have built (by parents) a culture of people who are easily offended (insecure in who they are); and don’t tag Gen Z for this. You can find offended people throughout the ages and generations.
- two, if we don’t feel good about who we are then we elevate ourselves by putting others down…by offending them – even if it’s not to their face. Ouch!
Challenge of the Week:
It’s a two-fold challenge – to not offend, and to not be offended. Watch your words and guard your mind. Know that you are a child of God, always learning, growing, and renewing your mind by the Word of God. Keep in mind that every-day-walking-around-kind-of-life with Jesus (the Living Word), in the written Word. You are secure in who you are because you are His! So be it.
