This week had layers. I had part two of my 90-day review at the company I do business coaching for. The review wasn’t hostile. It wasn’t harsh. But I left feeling pushed. Not based on my gifts or wiring, but based on what was needed. I felt the subtle tension between who I am and what others required and needed.
I’ve learned enough to know that feedback is good. Growth is necessary. Stretching is part of leadership.
But there’s a difference between being sharpened… and being reshaped into something that doesn’t quite fit.
I started my drive home with that sitting in me.
Proverbs 27:17
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
When Something Underneath Comes Loose
And somewhere on the interstate, something underneath my car came loose. Perfect, I am finally on my way home after an exhausting week, and now this?
At first, it was just a noise. I’m not sure I was fully aware of it as I was on the phone during my drive with a new business owner, “Joe,” whom I am coaching. It was a quiet, consistent knocking.
Then it became a drag. Then it was obvious I couldn’t ignore it. I told Joe I needed to call my mechanic and see if I could figure this car issue out, then I would call him back. I called my mechanic, and he said to pull over, check the trim, and anything else that could be loose.
Ironically, I had just gotten the car back from a week of mechanical issues — oil problems, smoke, repairs that cost more than expected. It had already been one of those weeks.
I digress. So I took the next exit and pulled off on a quiet side road to check it out.
I put my flashers on and jumped out of the car.
Laid on the pavement.
Crawled underneath.
There it was. The splash guard clips were broken. So it was the splash guard under the front of the car that had broken loose and was flopping violently under the chassis as I drove.
I had no tools in the car other than the rasp tool in a tire repair kit. So I used that to punch holes in the plastic around the four main bolts that were still holding the splash guard on. Finally, I was able to rip it off by hand.
Not elegant.
Not pretty.
But necessary.
Hebrews 12:11
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace…”
Because you can’t keep moving forward when something underneath you is dragging.
What’s Dragging Beneath You?
As I got back on the road, I couldn’t shake the metaphor. Sometimes life pushes us in ways that don’t align with how God formed us. Sometimes expectations begin to scrape against identity. And sometimes something underneath us, something structural, starts dragging.
It doesn’t break us immediately.
It just creates friction. And if we ignore it long enough, damage follows. The question isn’t whether friction exists.
The question is:
Are we willing to pull over and look underneath?
2 Corinthians 13:5
“Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.”
The Wreck Near Home
1 Corinthians 10:12
“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.”
Not my wreck, but within 100 yards of my house, on our little dirt road that’s more like a path, I turned the corner and saw a young kid standing beside his small pickup truck.
He had hit a tree head-on. On a road where that shouldn’t even be possible. Suddenly I had flashbacks of the day I moved to Florida to Indiana – see my post – When You Think It Couldn’t Get Any Crazier.
I remember thinking:
How do you wreck here?
He was okay. Help was coming. But the moment stayed with me. Life is fragile. You can wreck in places you thought were safe. You can assume you’re fine because the road is small.
Formation Isn’t Just What Happens In A Review
That drive home felt like a picture. I had just been evaluated. Then something underneath me came loose. Then I witnessed a wreck on a road that rarely produces them. And I finally pulled into my driveway with one quiet thought:
God is not just forming me in an office.
He’s forming me on the drive home.
Philippians 1:6
“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…”
Sometimes the real formation happens after the feedback. After the adrenaline. After the push. When something underneath you starts making noise.
Being Pushed vs. Being Formed
There’s a difference between being pushed and being formed.
Being pushed feels external.
And being formed happens internally.
Being pushed can create resistance.
And being formed creates alignment.
This week reminded me that I don’t need to become what is merely needed.
I need to become who God is shaping me to be. Maybe the push is part of the formation. But formation doesn’t mean losing who you are. It means becoming more aligned with who God already made you to be.
Romans 12:2
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
And sometimes that means removing what’s dragging.
Even if it’s messy.
Even if it’s inconvenient.
And even if it requires pulling over.
Arriving Home
When I finally pulled into the driveway, I felt something I hadn’t noticed all day. Gratitude.
Not because the week was smooth. It wasn’t. Did I mention that we were watching a friend’s pet that likes to whine or sleep in our bed (neither a good option)? This left me with little sleep through the week. And that was leading into an interesting Friday. So, I was grateful.
Not because everything aligned. It didn’t. But because I arrived home.
Sometimes that’s enough. Formation isn’t about big breakthroughs. Sometimes it’s enough to be home with your best friend and exhale.
Sometimes it’s about:
- Not ignoring what’s scraping underneath you
- Not speeding through friction
- Paying attention to quiet warnings
- And making it home without wrecking your soul
God isn’t just interested in how far we go. He’s interested in who we are when we arrive.
2 Timothy 4:7
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race…”
I have finished at least this week’s part of the race! Be inspired by the following worship…
Challenge of the Week
Is there something underneath you that’s dragging right now? An expectation? Pressure? A role that doesn’t quite fit? A need to prove something? You don’t have to drive with it flapping and scraping. It’s about formation in Christ. This week, instead of simply asking, “What’s dragging?” ask: “Lord Jesus, what in me is not aligned with You?” So be it.
Steps you can take
Pull over — not just emotionally, but spiritually. Find a quiet place. Open Scripture. Sit with Him. Ask the Holy Spirit to search you, not to shame you, but to form you.
Psalm 139
“Search me, O God, and know my heart… See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Formation isn’t about ripping things off in frustration. It’s about surrendering what no longer reflects Christ. Maybe what’s dragging isn’t just external pressure. Maybe it’s
- Fear.
- Pride.
- Over-responsibility.
- Approval-seeking.
- Self-reliance.
Let Jesus name it. Then release it to Him. Not so you can move faster. But so you can walk more closely with Him. Because Christ-centered formation isn’t about becoming more efficient. It’s about becoming more like Him. And becoming like Him is always worth pulling over for.
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