There are moments in life that seem small at the time. A message. A conversation. A chance encounter. And yet later, looking back, you realize they became doorways into something much bigger than you understood in the moment. That’s how this chapter of my story began. Love finds a way.
1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.
Where I was at the time did not come with certainty. And the confidence was certainly lacking. And there definitely was no grand spiritual awareness.
Honestly?
It began with disappointment, loneliness, and one more reluctant attempt to put myself out there again.
And somewhere in the middle of dial-up internet, AOL’s “You’ve got mail,” and a bulky computer screen, God quietly began unfolding a new chapter in my life.
At the time, I thought I was simply looking for love. Looking back now…
I think God was teaching me something much deeper about trust, vulnerability, grace, and what it feels like to finally be seen.
Hope After Disappointment
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
By the fall of 2003, disappointment wasn’t new to me.
I had experienced fractured relationships, loneliness, and enough emotional exhaustion to make me cautious. Part of me still hoped for something meaningful, but another part of me had learned not to expect too much.
Maybe you know that feeling. The place where hope and self-protection quietly coexist. Where you want connection… but you also don’t want to get hurt again. That’s where I was.
Then I came across Carmen’s profile online.
No picture at first. Just words. Warmth. Honesty. Joy. Something about it stopped me in my tracks. So I took a chance and sent her a message.
And when she responded almost immediately, something inside me stirred.
Again, not certainty, but was there something possible? I immediately thought, ”Don’t get your hopes up, Scott!”
Maybe there was a possibility here. Looking back now, I realize something important:
Sometimes God begins healing us long before we realize healing has started. Sometimes hope returns quietly – one small conversation at a time.
The Courage to Be Seen
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
One of the strange things about connection is this:
You can’t experience real intimacy while hiding. And yet most of us spend years carefully managing what people see. I know I did.
Humor became part of my defense mechanism. Confidence became part of the presentation. Even my online dating profile picture was trying a little too hard to say, “I’ve got this together.”
But underneath all of that was someone who still carried disappointment, insecurity, and fear.
And maybe that’s why this mattered more than I understood at the time:
Carmen wasn’t responding to perfection. She was responding to me. Not polished me. Not fixed me. Just me. Or was that me just hoping?
And maybe that’s one of the first places God begins restoring us: When we realize we don’t have to perform our way into being loved.
Small Steps That Change Everything
Zechariah 4:10
“Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the Lord that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen…”
What started as short messages quickly became long phone calls.
Back then, cell phone minutes were free after 9:00 p.m., so night after night we talked until one of us fell asleep or the phone battery died.
It’s funny looking back now. Nothing dramatic was happening. No fireworks. No huge breakthrough moments. Just consistency in our conversations and our presence. And yet those ordinary moments slowly built trust.
I think we often underestimate how God works.
We expect transformation through dramatic moments. But many times, He works through quiet consistency. One conversation. One honest moment. One small risk at a time.
When Reality Surpasses Expectation
Ephesians 3:20
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,
Then came the first date.
I drove an hour and a half to meet Carmen in the parking lot of a sporting goods store while she bought herself… a 100-pound punching bag.
Not exactly the romantic movie scene I would’ve scripted.
And honestly, I was nervous. Sweaty palms. Racing thoughts. Trying not to say anything stupid. But the moment she looked up at me through the driver-side window…
Everything changed.
I had prepared myself for disappointment. Instead, I found something extraordinary.
Looking back now, I think one of the saddest things disappointment does is lower our expectation for goodness.
It convinces us not to hope too much. Not to trust too deeply. Not to believe something beautiful could actually happen to us. And yet sometimes…
Grace surprises us anyway.
God Was Doing More Than I Understood
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
At the time, I thought I was simply beginning a relationship. But looking back now, I can see God was doing something underneath the surface.
He was teaching me:
- patience
- vulnerability
- trust
- gentleness
- connection
And maybe most importantly…
He was slowly teaching me what it felt like to be chosen without striving for it.
That first date broke every rule I had created to protect myself. What was supposed to last an hour turned into dinner, a movie, and a conversation that neither of us wanted to end.
And underneath all of it, God was quietly weaving together something neither of us could fully see yet.
Love Was Only the Beginning
Philippians 1:6
…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
By the end of that night, I floated home replaying every moment in my head.
Her laugh.
Her kindness.
The awkwardness.
The ease of conversation.
I kept thinking to myself, “I think she likes me. I really think she likes me.”
But looking back now, I realize something important:
This wasn’t just the beginning of a love story. It was the beginning of God reshaping my understanding of love itself. Not perfect love. Not effortless love. But grace-filled love.
The kind of love that slowly teaches us:
- We are seen
- We are known
- And we no longer have to live hidden behind fear or performance
At the time, I thought love had found me. What I didn’t realize yet…
God had been pursuing me all along.
A Simple Invitation
Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
As you reflect on your own story this week, I want to ask you something:
Where have disappointment or heartbreak quietly lowered your expectation for goodness?Where have you stopped believing something meaningful could still happen? And where might God already be working underneath ordinary moments you’ve overlooked?
Because sometimes the beginning of restoration doesn’t look dramatic.
Sometimes it looks like:
- one honest conversation
- one small risk
- one unexpected connection
- one moment where hope quietly returns
And sometimes…love finds a way.
Challenge of the Week
This week, spend a few quiet moments asking yourself: Where have I been protecting myself more than trusting God? Not to shame yourself, or not to force vulnerability. But simply to notice where disappointment may still be shaping how you live, love, and connect.
Then ask God:
“Help me recognize where You may already be restoring hope in quiet, ordinary ways.”
Because often, the deepest transformation begins long before we realize something sacred is unfolding. So be it.
Psalm 139:23–24
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
This Series Started with:
Join with me in your own journey…
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