It was announced from the pulpit, like most ‘group sign-ups’ are – the kick-off for the Forge men’s group. The time, the place, and who it was for. And then the pastor paused and added one more word, “It’s not just a Bible study or a men’s group…it’s an experience.” Then he smiled and said, “I don’t even know what that means.” So, what is The Experience?
That honest moment might have been the most accurate description of The Forge anyone could have given. Because experiences aren’t explained. They are, well, experienced.
Worn Down
That evening, the morning before the kickoff, I came home worn down by extending myself.
Not just physically tired, but the deeper kind. Worn thin. Short-tempered. The kind of tired that shows up after carrying responsibility beyond your own strengths. Leading. Providing. Fixing. Deciding. Holding things together.
Thinking you can control something is never a good thing.
And that evening I still needed to go out and buy breakfast food and supplies for the big kick-off. The next morning was the Forge.
I remember thinking, I’m the one leading this… and my energy level doesn’t feel ready.
And that’s when it hit me: this is exactly why The Forge has to be an experience.
Because tired men don’t need another meeting. They need renewal. They need a place where they don’t have to arrive energized, motivated, or put together. Most importantly, they just need to be willing.
I did walk into that room fired up. I was excited about what this experience could mean not only to me, but what it would mean for others. So, I fired myself up, put on my game face, and it was on!
I walked in honest. And maybe that’s the real entry point to any experience God wants to use.
Showing Up Without a Label
Saturday morning rolled in, and forty men walked through the doors. Forty. No syllabus. No agenda they could skim ahead of time. And no clear picture of what they had signed up for. Just an invitation to something…an experience.
So I opened the morning with the only words that felt true:
“Thank you for showing up to something you didn’t even know what it was about. An experience… but what does that mean?”
You could feel it in the room. A mix of curiosity, caution, and quiet courage. Men don’t usually show up to the unknown. Unless something in them is looking for something different.
Why The Forge or Life Is NOT a Program
The Forge was never meant to be another checkbox or group on a church calendar. Granted, we can experience God through various methods.
But this isn’t about a lecture series, a curriculum-driven Bible study, or a place to impress, perform, or pretend. It’s about being forged by the Word of God to become more like Jesus in ALL parts of your life – work, home, the community, and even in church. And the Forge is particularly for men who often compartmentalize their work, from their home, from church, and even from their personal relationship with God.
This post isn’t just about men coming together at a thing called The Forge; it’s in all places and walks of life where heat is applied, both for men and for women. That’s where we come in as brothers and sisters in Christ. Building identity and being a part of shaping and forming each other, walking each other through the fire.
In a forge, nothing stays untouched. What enters gets refined. Strengthened. Sometimes bent. Sometimes broken open. And often uncomfortable and necessary.
An Experience Requires Participation
You can attend a group and stay the same, whether it is the Forge or anything else.
You can’t enter an experience and not be changed.
The Forge asks men to be present. You don’t need to be polished, but be honest and committed to the experience. The reason experience requires participation is that if you are not participating, that means you are not putting action to it. You are not putting shoes on it. You are not living it out. “Put it into action and the feelings will follow,” my mentor would tell me.
Knowledge alone is diddly-squat (useless), unless there is application for it – putting it to use.
After the Forge kick-off ended and the conversations finally quieted, we got things cleaned up, and I went home.
Being Worn Out
And I was tired.
Not the good, satisfied kind of tired, but worn down. A little edgy. A little grouchy. The kind of tired that settles into your shoulders and shows up in your tone. Yes, pray for my wife as she was receiving the brunt of my edginess (is that a word?).
I hadn’t done anything physically exhausting. But something deeper had happened.
I realized I had been carrying more than I knew. I have a team of others. I don’t have to hold it together for others or carry the weight of responsibility. That’s my past, though. Holding space for others. Feeling the weight of responsibility.
I was wondering, quietly, if this experience we invited men into would actually meet them where they were. But hadn’t that been what God spoke to my heart?
That’s when God reminded me. The Forge wasn’t something I was leading – this was God’s. I was graciously chosen, along with eight other men, to help lead this experience He was creating. And others are coming as God has already shown me.
An Experience Changes the Ones Who Host It
Just like attending something and not be changed, you can facilitate a meeting and remain untouched.
You can’t step into an experience like this without being affected, though. The Forge asks men to show up honestly. And that same honesty is required of those who stand behind the scenes as well as in front of the room.
That tired, grouchy feeling wasn’t frustration. It was exposure. I was thinking I had control, or at least acting like I had control.
It was the realization that when God calls you to create space for transformation, He often starts with you. That means me!
Why Forty Men Said Yes
They didn’t come because they knew exactly what to expect. Maybe they came because they knew the familiar wasn’t working anymore. I believe these men were there to experience God.
Maybe something in them was tired, too. Tired of not really living, at least the way God had intended.
Many are tired of surface-level faith. Tired of carrying weight alone. Tired of knowing about God without being changed by Him.
But there were some there beyond me, as great leaders, cheering the experience along.
And maybe that’s why forty men walked in.
Not because the invitation was clear, but because it was honest. Men are ready for an experience.
If you’re looking for a group, there are many. Experience it to the point where you can’t get enough of Him!
Challenge of the Week
Are you willing to enter an experience? It may be called a study, a group of one kind or another, but are you ready to experience it and put into action what you learn? If so, it will be one that will stretch you, refine you, and shape you. That’s what I want the Forge to be. That’s what I want our lives to be. Whatever it is, you must not experience it alone. That’s part of the experience with the Forge, and with life – brotherhood, sisterhood, family, iron sharpening iron, fire molding us into who God designed us to be. So whatever it is, show up and experience it. Experience life the way He intended it. So be it.
