Good morning! I apologize for this brief intrusion to your regular morning routine. I didn’t mean to throw you off, and I hope you don’t feel I am intruding. Let’s see if we can find some Words of Encouragement regarding feeling like one that might be intruding. Just know, you are NOT intruding. You are meant to be here.
Intrude (verb) – put oneself deliberately into a place or situation where one is unwelcomed or uninvited.
Have you ever been somewhere or wanted to see someone, but you had this uncomfortable feeling that you were interrupting something or intruding? I certainly have. Part of this may play into our past (nurture), and a part of it could simply be a part of our makeup, the way we are wired (nature). As a bit of an introvert, I can easily feel this way, especially if I don’t feel welcomed in right away. I feel like….the outsider.
There are many established groups, and it is not uncommon for the new person to feel like they are on the outside. Churches are that way, some being like a country club. And definitely be wary about where you sit when you’re new at a church – you may be sitting in an assigned reserved seat, even though it’s not posted! What a great feeling for a newbie, huh? Carmen and I have first-hand experience on this one.
True story. It happened to us.
Carmen, “Let’s sit here”. It’s something new sitting in the front. We don’t normally do that”.
Me, “Don’t be surprised if someone tells us we are sitting in their seats”.
Carmen, (with a look of astonishment on her face) “Really?? Surely not”.
We hadn’t been sitting down for fifteen minutes before a lady walked right up to us and abruptly said, “You’re sitting in our seats”.
We didn’t say anything; we didn’t see the point, but the look of surprise on Carmen’s face said everything. We got up, said sorry, and promptly found another place to sit.
We weren’t broken up about it. There were plenty of seats.
And this is even true in Sunday school classes, small groups or special interest groups within the church. And not just in the church, but other various groups – it’s human nature. We joke about it as earning the right to be a part of the ‘chosen inner circle.’ In Meet the Fockers, this is certainly the theme – a requirement by Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) and a useless challenge for Greg Focker (Ben Stiller). Don’t let this become your group! Haha.
A Message to all these groups, especially if you are Christ-based: Focus on the newbies and make them feel welcome! This is not your club – it’s God’s.
In the meeting part of an outreach-based ministry I used to work with (The Campus Life division of Youth for Christ), we had ‘all hands on deck’ when it came to newbies. Our team intentionally focused on connecting with any new teens who came to any of our meetings. We did not want them to come in feeling like an outsider, and we definitely did not want them to leave feeling like an outsider.
God’s Kingdom flips worldly values on their head
- The first shall be last
- To be a leader, be a servant
- To live, you must die to yourself
- The meek will inherit the Kingdom
- Don’t be a hater – love your enemy
- Give and you shall receive
- <<add yours or other ‘inside out’ ways of Jesus here>>
Jesus will leave the 99 to find the one. He will seek them out to invite them in, into the inner circle. The one will become His focus.
Ever feel like the 1 out of the 99? Like you are or were an interruption to God? Maybe it wasn’t even really God that made you feel that way, but maybe it was God’s people.
There have been times when I have felt that way. After all, aren’t God’s people a reflection of God? So, if God’s people see others (outsiders) as an interruption, then the ‘outsider’ can mistakenly attribute that to being an interruption to God.
Be the one
How comfortable is it to stay with the 99, or the 9, or in whatever the size of your inner-circle group (especially for us introverts)? We always want it to be about us – again, human nature. But we really do need to get past the spiritual milk (immaturity) and realize that God has a little bit bigger vision – the lost and inclusiveness thereof, of others.
Luke 15:3-7 niv
Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
We also see the heart of Jesus when someone was a part of the inner circle but strayed away. We usually write them off, talk about them, and then spiritualize it by praying for them. Wow! We may all have been on both sides of this at one time – I know I have been. Shame on me!
Parable of the lost son. Yep, been there personally. Jesus has given me new life and now a fresh start.
Challenge of the day: Come on in or extend an olive branch. It’s ok to be a little uncomfortable. Be the one to make others feel welcome, especially if you are already a part of a particular inner circle that a new person has wandered into. If you are the newbie, take a step of faith and trust God to make that connection for you. He is right there with you, every step of the way. So be it.
Knocked it out of the park again Scott. This is something I struggle with daily. Thanks brother, needed these words.
Great topic Scott! I have experienced this multiple times in my life at various churches.
I often thought how interesting it was that in my former partying life I could walk into a nightclub alone – not know anyone – sit at the bar and half way through the night I was part of the group and had friends I could go hang with.
But, I step into a church and literally go unnoticed. Attend Sunday school or go to a woman’s group Bible study and not be included in the conversations that were taking place all around me. It was a feeling like I was intruding and didn’t really belong. Churches can be one of the loneliest places to be.
When I was a newbie and seeking a church, I took it personal and just left that particular church never to return and being a bit bitter about it. I felt if this was how Christian folks acted then why would I want to be one or affiliate with their organization. It was truly a turn off.
But, praise God, I didn’t return to the bar. I was finally led to a really wonderful and loving church that did what you described. It was their focus to be all about the new folks. Now as a mature Christian that is what I focus on too. I remember how hurt and rejected I felt and I don’t want others to feel that way.
I wonder how many folks have been seeking, but went back to the bar. If the church won’t do what God calls us to do, which is to love on people then, then satan is more than willing to welcome them back into his fold. We need to remember that.
Blessings!
Sheri, not much I can ad to that comment. Great shared experience. We can learn and apply a lot about what to do from what we’ve experienced in what not to do. Thanks for sharing!!!
Jeff, I can’t imagine how much God loves you. As you know, He accepted you from the very moment you cried out to Him and invited Him to be Lord of your life. He created you and excitedly waited for that moment to accept you in!
really a good insight into the feelings of a newbie…. I liked the message today, helped me put into perspective the feelings I feel when wandering into a new setting, now I can try to make all feel welcome into God’s setting as it is His…
You do that very well Neil…making people feel welcomed. You are a natural. I can see Jesus through you, standing next to you with a big ole smile as you do your thing in connecting with others.