After the Tears - My Everyday Life

Last week, I shared the story of how God broke into our lives – my life. Not through a sermon. Not through a church service. And, not through a dramatic altar call. He broke in through an ordinary conversation, a mission trip, a living room couch, and a flood of tears. Now what happens after the tears, after the breakthrough? This is about when God changes more than your heart.

After the tears I began to see what God was doing. — When she said, “Will you pray?” I swallowed hard.

Philippians 1:6

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

For years, I had kept God at a safe distance. Close enough to believe in Him. Far enough away that I didn’t have to risk being hurt again. Then one evening, sitting on our couch with Carmen’s head in my lap as she wept over what God had done in her life, something inside me finally broke open, too.

I surrendered – the walls came down. And God came running back into my heart.

But looking back now, I’ve realized something. The breakthrough wasn’t the story. It was the beginning of the story.

The Morning After

2 Corinthians 5:17

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.

We often imagine spiritual transformation happening in a single moment. A prayer. A decision. A breakthrough. And sometimes it does. But transformation isn’t proven in the moment. It’s revealed in the mornings that follow.

The morning after my surrender, the house looked exactly the same. The walls hadn’t changed. The coffee maker still sputtered and groaned. The kids still needed rides. The business still demanded attention. Laundry still needed folded. Life looked exactly as it had the day before.

But something underneath it all was different. For the first time in years, I felt like I was no longer carrying life by myself.

The circumstances hadn’t changed. But my heart had. And that changed everything.

Walking the Same Road

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

For years, Carmen and I had walked side by side in life. We loved each other. We loved our family. And, we worked hard. Built a business. Raised our children. But spiritually, we were often walking different roads.

She longed for God – I kept Him at arm’s length.

She pursued Him – I nodded politely from a distance.

And while I didn’t realize it at the time, that distance shaped more of our marriage than I cared to admit. Then something changed.

No, it didn’t change overnight. And it was a perfect change, but it was genuine. We started praying together, though awkwardly at first. Maybe even clumsily.

One morning we sat at the kitchen table with coffee cups between us. “We should pray,” Carmen said. Three simple words. I remember swallowing hard before saying, “Okay.” My prayer wasn’t eloquent, nor was it impressive. It was simply real.

When I finished, I looked up and saw tears in her eyes. She squeezed my hand and whispered, “I’ve waited for this.”I don’t know if she fully understood how much those words affected me.

But I knew in that moment that God wasn’t just restoring my relationship with Him. He was restoring something in us.

The Small Things Became Holy

John 15:4

Remain in Me, and I will remain in you.

The change didn’t arrive through fireworks. It arrived through ordinary moments. Just like the ordinary love that we had for each other. We had morning coffee. We shared scripture. And we were praying before making decisions.

The rhythms of life remained the same, but the posture of our hearts changed. And that’s often how God works. We want dramatic transformation, but God often chooses daily formation. A prayer before work, a verse shared across the table, a conversation that creates connection, or a moment of surrender repeated again and again.

Looking back, I realize that many of the most sacred moments of that season wouldn’t have looked important to anyone else, but they were changing us. One ordinary day at a time.

What God Was Doing Underneath

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

At the time, I thought God was simply healing my heart. But in looking back, I can see He was doing much more than that. He was preparing us for the sale of our business. Preparing us for a move to Florida.

He was preparing us for new callings we couldn’t yet see, and for opportunities we didn’t know existed. Yes, he was preparing us to help others through some of the same struggles we had faced.

The truth is, none of that was visible then. We were still living in the same house, driving the same roads, and managing the same business.

Yet God was laying a foundation beneath our feet, brick by brick and moment by moment, and prayer by prayer. He was building something we wouldn’t fully understand until years later.

And maybe that’s true for you too. Maybe God is doing more beneath the surface than you realize.

Preparing for What’s Next

Philippians 1:6

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.

One of the great temptations of life is to constantly ask, “What’s next?”

What’s the next opportunity? The next season? The next breakthrough? Or the next answer?

But God often seems more interested in a different question:

“Who are you becoming?”

Because before God reveals what’s next, He often prepares us for it.

Looking back now, I can see that God wasn’t simply giving us a spiritual experience. He was creating a spiritual foundation. The move to Florida was coming. The sale of our business was coming. New ministry opportunities were coming.

Chateau Mariposa was coming. This blog was coming. The Forge was coming.

But first came formation. First came surrender. First came learning to pursue Him together.

A Simple Invitation

Maybe you’re in a season where God has already done something significant in your life. Maybe it was a breakthrough, or a healing, restoration, or a fresh start. And now you’re wondering, “What’s next?”

Maybe the better question is, “What is God building in me right now?” Because sometimes the greatest work God is doing isn’t visible yet. It’s happening beneath the surface in the quiet moments and in the ordinary rhythms. It’s in the daily choices to keep walking with Him.

Challenge of the Week

Spend a few quiet moments reflecting on: Where has God already been changing your heart? What new rhythms is He inviting you into? What relationships is He restoring? Or what foundation is He laying beneath the surface? Because God often prepares us long before He reveals where He’s taking us. And sometimes the most important move you’ll ever make isn’t the one that changes your address. It’s the one that changes your heart. So be it.

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