Welcome to the Show!

Language warning: “Welcome to the shit show!” Well, that’s one way to welcome someone to a new job! And from me, welcome to the show with today’s blog post.

Those were the words I heard from the first business owner I called after accepting a new position as a franchise business coach.

“Well, thank you. I am looking forward to the challenge,” I replied. And I meant it.

If you’ve been following my journey, you know that I’d experienced an unexpected coaching change. A position I loved ended, and I spent the following months driving Uber, meeting fascinating people, and wondering what God had planned next.

Then another opportunity came along. I was returning to something I loved—helping business owners grow, develop their leadership, and build successful businesses.

I was excited. And I was grateful and ready. Or at least I thought I was. Little did I know the owner’s unusual welcome might have been more revealing than I initially realized.

Something to note as this story progresses: just because you can carry something doesn’t mean it’s yours to carry.

The Job I Thought I Was Taking

I’ve spent a good portion of my professional life working with business owners. I’ve been one myself. And I’ve experienced the excitement of growth, the frustration of setbacks, the pressure of payroll, and the responsibility of leading people.

That’s part of what I love about business coaching.

It’s not simply telling someone what to do. It’s walking alongside them, helping them recognize opportunities, develop strategies, make better decisions, and take ownership of their success.

I believe good coaching helps people become better at what they do—not more dependent on the person coaching them.

But about a month into this new position, I began realizing that the expectations were somewhat different from what I had understood when I accepted the job.

I wasn’t simply being asked to coach business owners.

I was increasingly being asked to take on responsibilities that extended into consulting, organizational problem-solving, and operational matters.

And while I had experience in many of those areas, there was an important distinction I couldn’t ignore.

Being capable of doing something doesn’t automatically make it your responsibility.

When Helping Becomes Carrying

Have you ever found yourself in that situation? You agree to help with something at work, at church, or even within your family.

You’re willing. You’re capable. You genuinely want to make a difference. But somewhere along the way, the expectations begin changing.

What started as helping becomes managing.
What started as supporting becomes owning.

And before you know it, you’re carrying responsibilities you never actually agreed to carry.

Sometimes this happens because people recognize your abilities. Sometimes it’s because expectations were never clearly communicated. And sometimes people are simply overwhelmed and looking for someone who can help.

Whatever the reason, the result can be the same. You begin feeling responsible for outcomes you don’t have the authority to control.

I was beginning to recognize that distinction in my new position.

And rather than simply continuing to absorb additional responsibilities, I began establishing boundaries.

Not because I didn’t care. Not because I wasn’t willing to work hard.And certainly not because I was afraid of a challenge.

But because I was learning that healthy boundaries aren’t the opposite of commitment. They’re often what makes commitment sustainable.

What Does God Expect Us to Carry?

There’s an interesting passage in Galatians that, at first glance, almost seems contradictory.

Galatians 6:2 NIV

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

But just a few verses later, Galatians 6:5 (NIV) says:

For each one should carry their own load.

Wait a minute. Are we supposed to carry one another’s burdens or carry our own?

The answer is both. Paul is helping us understand something important about responsibility and relationships.

There are times when someone is facing a burden too heavy to carry alone. Those are opportunities to step alongside them with compassion, encouragement, and practical help.

But that doesn’t eliminate each person’s responsibility for the work and decisions that belong to them.

We can support someone without taking ownership of everything in their life.
We can encourage someone without becoming responsible for every decision they make.
And we can serve faithfully without saying yes to every expectation placed upon us.

Helping someone carry a burden is not the same as taking their entire load onto your shoulders.

That’s a distinction I’m continuing to learn.

Even Jesus Had Boundaries

One of the things I find fascinating about Jesus’ ministry is that He never seemed driven by everyone else’s expectations.

People constantly wanted something from Him. They wanted healing, answers, miracles, attention, and immediate solutions to their problems. And Jesus cared deeply about them.

Yet He also withdrew to pray. He moved on to other towns when people wanted Him to stay. He remained focused on the mission His Father had given Him.

In Mark 1:35–38, we find Jesus praying early in the morning. When His disciples located Him, they told Him that everyone was looking for Him.

But Jesus didn’t simply respond to the pressure of the crowd. He explained that they needed to go elsewhere so He could continue preaching—the purpose for which He had come.

Think about that.

Even Jesus didn’t allow every expectation around Him to determine His next step.

He was compassionate without being controlled by other people’s demands.
He was available without being directionless.
And He was faithful to His calling without attempting to meet every expectation in the way others wanted.

And if Jesus demonstrated that kind of clarity, perhaps we should pay attention.

Learning to Say Yes—and No

As I continued settling into my new role, I recognized that I needed to be clear about what I could contribute, what I was responsible for, and where those responsibilities needed to remain with others.

That didn’t mean refusing to learn more about the business or declining to help solve problems. In fact, learning and problem-solving are things I genuinely enjoy.

But there is a difference between contributing your experience and being held accountable for responsibilities beyond your role.

There’s a difference between coaching someone toward a solution and being expected to become the solution.

And there’s a difference between serving with excellence and trying to prove your worth by carrying everything.

Maybe that last one is particularly important. Because sometimes our difficulty establishing boundaries isn’t just about other people’s expectations. Sometimes it’s about our own.

We want to be helpful.
We want to be appreciated.
Who doesn’t want others to recognize our value?

And occasionally, without even realizing it, we begin measuring our worth by how much we’re willing to take on. But here’s something I’m learning:

Your value isn’t determined by how much responsibility you can carry.

And saying no to something outside your responsibility doesn’t mean you’re saying no to God.

Of course, boundaries can also become excuses if we’re not careful. We can use them to avoid uncomfortable responsibilities or opportunities to grow.

That’s why wisdom matters. The question isn’t simply, “Do I have to do this?” Perhaps a better question is:

“Is this something God is calling me to carry, something He’s asking me to help someone else carry, or something I need to leave in someone else’s hands?”

Those are three very different assignments.

Your Everyday Life

You may not be a business coach, but I suspect you’ve experienced something similar. Maybe you’re the dependable person at work who always gets handed another project.

You might be that family member everyone calls when something goes wrong.

Maybe you’re serving in a ministry where your willingness to help has gradually turned into an expectation that you’ll do everything.

Or perhaps you’re the person who struggles to say no because you don’t want to disappoint anyone. That used to be me. I’ve been there.

And I’m discovering that boundaries aren’t necessarily walls that keep people out. Sometimes they’re simply lines that help us understand where our responsibilities begin and end.

We can still be generous.
We can still be compassionate.
And we can still go the extra mile.
But we don’t have to confuse being needed with being called.

God hasn’t asked us to be everything to everybody. He’s asked us to be faithful with what He’s entrusted to us.

And sometimes faithfulness requires the courage to have an honest conversation, clarify expectations, or lovingly say, “I can help with that, but I can’t own it.”

This week’s song, “Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns, reminds us that sometimes the most faithful thing we can do isn’t to carry more, but to trust God enough to release what was never ours to carry.

Challenge of the Week

This week, take a few minutes to consider the responsibilities you’re carrying.
Is there something you’ve taken ownership of that really belongs to someone else?
Is there an expectation you’ve allowed to develop without ever having an honest conversation about it?
Or is there someone genuinely struggling under a heavy burden whom God may be inviting you to help?
Ask Him for wisdom to recognize the difference. And then take one practical step. Maybe it’s offering help. Maybe it’s having a conversation. Or maybe it’s establishing a boundary you’ve been avoiding. Whatever it is, remember that healthy boundaries and a servant’s heart can—and should—exist together. So be it.

A Thought to Take With You

“God may give you the strength to carry a heavy load, but that doesn’t mean every load you’re handed is yours to carry.”

As for my new coaching adventure? Well, that first owner’s welcome certainly made for an interesting beginning. And as I’ve discovered, the journey has continued to provide plenty of opportunities to learn, grow, and exercise a little wisdom along the way.

But isn’t that how life works?

Just when we think we’ve figured out the assignment, God reminds us there’s still something more to learn.

Keep following my journey as you continue your own. Together, let’s keep looking for God in the ordinary moments of our everyday lives.